Hard days come. Your jaw is tight, you're short with everybody, or you go blank, and that's the exact moment you have to decide what to do. So you don't decide. The scroll decides, or the fuse does.
The fix is to decide on a decent day, in if-then form. Across 94 tests, plans written as "if this happens, then I'll do that" had a medium-to-large effect on people actually following through. Tap your warning lights, your hard moments and what resets you. You walk out with a 3x5 card: your if-thens, your floor, two people and when to call a pro. Mine is already filled in below: if my jaw clenches, then 10 push-ups.
Nothing you tap or type here leaves your device. No account, no server, no analytics. Your card is erased when you close the tab, so print it or copy it.
My takeaway from a neuroscientist's podcast interview: "have a resiliency plan. Hard days come, hard moments come." So I made mine. Robot mode, for me, is a clenched jaw and going blank.
I made the plan on a decent day, ready for a hard one. If my jaw clenches, then 10 push-ups. It gets me back into my body instead of floating out in outer space. On camera I offered to send my plan to anyone who asked. This page is the version you don't have to ask for: Instagram, Facebook.
How does your body tell you it's a hard day, before your head admits it? Tap every one you know.
Which moments knock you over? Pick up to three. One plan per moment beats one plan for everything.
For each moment, pick the reset that works for you. Small and physical beats big and noble.
The least you'll do on your worst day. Two is plenty.
One person is a single point of failure. Name two people you can tell when the lights come on.
And a secondNow make the call. Ask: “when you see me go quiet or short, can I come to you? You don't have to fix anything.”
Where this comes from: if-then planning, Gollwitzer and Sheeran, 2006 (94 tests); warning signs and a daily floor, WRAP; people and a when-to-get-help line, the APA on resilience. The menu and the card layout are my synthesis. Cross out what doesn't help you.
That was free and nothing here sits behind an email. If it was useful, here's the whole exchange: send it to one or two people who'd use it too. That's it. I'm trusting you with it, you pass it on.
Want the next one before anyone else? I'm building an interest list — no selling, no sequence, your address goes nowhere. Exactly what that means, in plain words.
The list itself isn't open yet — I'm still setting it up, and I'd rather say that than put up a box that doesn't work. The ask above stands either way, and it's the one that matters. If you want to tell me what to build next, my DMs are open.
Free. This tool asks you for nothing: no gate, no email, no analytics. When you've used the card once, DM me how it went. Keep the card.